Being not nearly as clever as Radik, the best I can say is that we finished 10 ToGC tonight with precisely 45 attempts remaining, yielding us this awesome achievement (in fact, we got to Anub'arak with all 50!)

OCCAM'S RAIDERS DOWNS CELINE DION



Link to Bigger Pic

BLIZZARD RUNNING LOW ON IDEAS, ADMITS TO HIRING CRACK BABIES FOR INSPIRATION

In a press release on Wednesday, a Blizzard spokes-person announced that not one single writer on their staff "knew what was going on", mostly because they are all crack babies between the ages of 5 and 11.  The WoW populace was somewhat astonished by this fact, but most agreed they had already known deep down that this was the case.  Still, others stubbornly disagree and insist the writers are a bunch of retarded Goldfish.

Blizzard admitted to hiring crack babies after the most recent (SPOILER) announcement that Anub'Arak would be the last boss in the Argent Coliseum, to which everyone responded "but he died". For those of you who may have forgotten, Anub'Arak was the final boss in Azjol-Nerub, where a bunch of level 72's can still be seen to this day face-rolling their way to, and killing Anub-Arak, without the slightest problem.  If at this point you don't understand the inherent stupidity of Anub-Arak being the final boss in the Argent Coliseum, let me lay it out for you:

Here is a picture of Anub-Arak alive as a level 74 elite: ALIVE
Now is a picture of him Dead: BLARG
Now is a picture of the Arcitc Fur which I skinned from him: SURELY HE IS DEAD
Now is a picture of him alive in Argent Coliseum: LOL PSYCH!
And now the new in-game mail a player will get upon killing him in 3.2: ^_^

This hasn't been the first time someone has died and magically reappeared.  The trend was started by Baron Rivendare who died millions of times in Vanilla WoW while living in Stratholme, reappeared in Naxxramas (vanilla WoW) to die millions of times AGAIN, then reappeared in Naxxramas (for WotLK) to die yet more millions of times. And the crazy thing is that he can still be seen in Stratholme as a level 60 Elite to this day.

Some people say that Blizzard has created a beautiful thing here by reusing dead characters whenever they want.  However, smart people would point out that the lore of this game is equivalent to making someone with Alzheimers read a book backwards while having a monkey throw poo at them.

THORIM RECENTLY BUFFED; GUILD LEARNS THE HARD WAY

Yesterday we had a rough time on Thorim.  We just couldn't seem to get our composition right for the split between arena and the hallway.  Last time we 3-shotted him, although admittedly it WAS a little messy. However, last night was ridiculous, the bastard just wouldn't drop!

So, being the detective that I am, I went and searched through all Blue Posts known to man.  It took me 18 days, 32 hours and 506 minutes (true figures) since yesterday to figure out if there was something we were missing.  Finally, I found the answer to our problem!  Here is a blue post describing the changes they made last Tuesday to Thorim!!! This is really really really a real blue post, really!

Here's an excerpt: "Thorim ... will ... pulverize you ... Occam's Raiders" (source)

GUILD LEADER EXCITED TO DISCOVER THERE WERE 14 OF HIM

Last night while taking a study break, Guild Leader of Occam's Raiders was delighted to discover there were 14 of him online!

Observers applauded this fantastic discovery, but investigators question the picture's integrity since it claims 12 Guests were on at the same time as well, a feat never accomplished by any wowstead website.

Consequently, the entirety of wowstead crashed, to which a representative responded "these websites were never intended to be viewed by anyone in the first place, let alone 26 people at the same time".

The wowstead admins say they hope to get the server back up by October 2012, but caution everyone not to use their websites, since they were never actually intended for that purpose.

Here's a link to the picture in question: itsalinktoourownwebsitelulz

GUILD LEADER WAS STUNNED TO DISCOVER THAT YES, THIS WEBSITE IS FREE

During a routine forum post, Guild Leader of Occam's Raiders discovered that, yes, in fact this website is utterly free.  Although easily customizable, the Guild Leader was miffed when he discovered that the drop-down box for changing fonts was created entirely for aesthetic pleasure and to promote the facade of customizability (a new word!).

Case in point, most ASCII art requires an evenly spaced font like Courier New so the pictures look like what they're meant to look like:

	               $$.*..*...$$$*$                                  *$$$..$
               .$.*..*.*..$$$*                     . *      .     $$$$$$ $$
                $.*..*.$$.$             **         . *      ..     *$$$$$$$
                $*.*..*.****          ******       ...   .   ..      *$$$
                $*..*..$$*.***.       ******        . *  ..  .        .$
                $*..*..$$..           ***..*.       .         ...       .
                $*.*.*$$***..         ******          *. ..              .
                ***.**$$$..*.           **            *  **...            .
                *$$***$$$$*** .                     . ** .*..              .
                 $***.$$$$***..                     .  * *               .**.
                 *$$.$$$***...                        *  ..              .****
                  **..$.$$$*$$*$$*$...              * ** *                ****
                  ****$$$**.**..*...                *  *   *..        **  ***
                  *$$$$$***$$**.*..                *  * **.....            *.
                   *$$$$$******                         * .$..*.           .
                   *$*******..*..*..* . *.    .. . * * *  *..**..*..      .
                    *************..**... **** .*       ..  **..*.         .
                    $*******.. *** $$ $ $$  *         ** .  ****.. .  .  *
                     ****************$$*              * * ..  *..      .'
                      $***************                 *.   .   *'*. .*

	

	

	

	

	

	Multiple Choice Question:  Is this a picture of...

	

A.) Mickey Mouse's lazy eye
B.) View from inside the Death Star as the Millenium Falcon is stuck in its tractor beam
C.) Boobs

If you guessed 'C', congratulations, you have Aspergers and probably look like this .


However, for us normies, by no stretch of the imagination does this picture say "boobs".  Yes, this was an ASCII nudey, yet anyone with an elementary understanding of human boobage can tell that these are not healthy boobs.  The problem lies not with the artist, who is special in his own right for getting his jollies off to ASCII PRON, but with this websites inability to use any font aside form "FONT FAMILY" which is clearly not a real font anyway.  Even after scrolling and selecting "Courier New" the website responds with "WHY DONT YOU TRY FONT FAMILY INSTEAD   :----D". 

OCCAM'S RAIDERS RAIDS IRONFORGE AND STORMWIND FOR MIDSUMMER FESTIVAL; BLACKWING LAIR OFFICIALLY GAYEST SERVER EVER

Yesterday, a strike force from Occam's Raider's dared to venture where thousands of people had ventured before: deep into the heart of alliance territory.  Their target?  Stormwind and Ironforge, the two most populated capitol cities of the Alliance.  The reason?  To save Pesto the Daring from certain death at the hands of the two Alliance players online at the time. The rescue team consisted of Cygnis the Bigot and TÝranus of Cool Hairdos (and later Somhrita, Crabmaster).  The two had ventured into the dangerous capitol cities before as both an ally and an enemy.  Their past lives as Gnomes served them well in infiltrating the enemy strongholds, but what awaited for them inside was so profound, so horrifying, that they would never forget the things they saw that day.

They found safe passage to Stormwind by slothfully strolling onto the Alliance boat at Valiance Keep.  Once in Stormwind, they ambled lazily in and out of shadows to escape detection by the ever vigilant (and dead) guards.  Following their keen Gnomish sense of direction, they soon dawdled into the Deeprun Tram and swiftly hijacked a transport to Ironforge, and considered the severe banality of the situation: Pesto was in tremendous danger sorta.

They soon found Pesto, fleeing from a Chicken-Tree-Bear.  With a single mighty blow from TÝranus, the Chicken-Tree-Bear exploded into streamers, confetti, and nice hairdos.  Pesto was saved.  Just then TÝranus had the brilliant idea of using their great positioning to strike death, fear and utter mayhem into the heart of the Alliance capitol of Ironforge.  From their previous knowledge of the Alliance, TÝranus and Cygnis decided to go straight to the Auction House in Ironforge, the largest hub of Alliance players known to man (on normal servers).  But this was no normal server, this was a gay server.

Our three intrepid heroes mounted, knowing full well they rode to certain death at the hands of the savage Alliance player base that was undoubtedly buying and selling at reasonable, sometimes even discounted, AH prices. As they rounded the last corner between them and the AH, they dismounted and Cygnis triumphantly shouted "Tremble in fear at the might of the Horde", or something else fruity along those lines.  In response, one AFK Alliance player auto-disconnected.  To their surprise, it was a veritable wasteland consisting of 5 Alliance, 3 of which were AFK.  The two Alliance that weren't afk hearthed in fear, while TÝranus dismembered the Ironforge auctioneers.  One Alliance dwarf returned from AFK, '/highfived' them, and followed them on the rest of their tour de force in Stormwind, the Exodar, and Darnassus. He was known simply as 'Salty Pinchface'.

After raping IF, our heroes became bored and travelled back to Stormwind, where Somhrita, Crabmaster joined them.  From there, they met a reasonable defense force of Alliance.  For hours our heroes killed countless Alliance players, after which they abandoned SW, raped the Exodar and Darnassus, and finally returned home to Orgrimmar, where they were hailed as "sorta okay guys".

OCCAM'S RAIDERS 5-MANS FLAME LEVIATHON; PITBOSS JOINS OCCAM'S RAIDERS: HAILED AS A GOD

Yes, I'm very excited to announce that we've acquired a new resto Druid for our raiding purposes.  Pitboss is a superb healer who is an ex-Eleet member (as are most of us).  He's a great asset to have for raid healing, and I foresee awesome things for us in the future.  Ulduar will begin next week on Tuesday now that we have Pitboss, so be ready.

Also Pitboss said he couldn't raid on Thursdays so I was thinking that we may change raid days to Tuesday and Wednesday.  Consider this and tell me what you think, whether there's any sort of time conflicts for you.

Here's a picture of Pitboss as I imagine him (No-homo):